Work In Progress

That seems to be the theme for me the last couple of weeks. Work.In.Progress.

I don’t have much finished, most of my art is currently in the “work in progress” stage.

We’ve had a lot of visitors lately and there is more to come!

So, normal life has been not at all “normal” and has sort of been happening between bouts of visiting and other distractions.

As a result, I haven’t really been able to do all that much art and the little I do get done, seems to just add to the work-in-progress pile.

 

This is not an easy state for me to be in - the perpetual WIP, without something finished and filed away - is not something I revel in!

However, these days, when I find an area where I am supremely uncomfortable, instead of “making it go away”, fighting against it, resisting it or pulling some superhuman efforts out of my hat, usually at a great price to myself, or, decide not to do something just so I don’t add to the pile -  I try and lean into it and embrace the discomfort.

I say “try” because some days I’m more successful than others with this!

 

But, I am learning so much about myself! So much to clear, so much to let go and so much to open up to!

Having a perpetual work-in-progress pile in my art, is just one of those discomforts in my life right now. There are many more. How did I get so lucky?

 

But, I am learning to really appreciate the discomfort! It’s that message that tells me something is up!

• It tells me that there is an opportunity to let go of an outdated way of thinking/feeling/acting.
• It tells me, that I am learning to recognize and leaning into my vulnerabilities, something I would have avoided at all cost not too long ago!
• It tells me that in this moment, on this day, in this situation, however minute, I am practicing courage and I am opening myself up to not only vulnerability, but also change!
• It tells me I am one step closer to being authentically me, and one step further away from needing to be “perfect.”
• It tells me, that at the other end of it, there is so much more opportunity for ease, joy, gratitude and expansion!
• It tells me, that I am  also a constant work in progress and that that is a good thing! Sometimes it’s also a difficult thing, but it’s never not a good thing!

 

And with that, I will show you one of those work-in-progress pieces from my pile.

 

I decided to go big on a face, to really practice features. But not only that, I also learned a new (to me) method of painting with gesso, watercolor crayons and black ink  while I was at it! It’s nowhere near finished, but it is starting to take shape!

 

 

 

 

 

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
― Brené Brown

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Of Splatters, Colors and the Process of Allowing!

And my inky drip/splatter obsession continues! So much fun!!

 

 

It has been amazing for me to embrace all this color and lack of control. As somebody who is usually more on the muted and controlled side in her expression of creativity, these bursts of color and mess of splatters and drips are quite freeing!

With the last several paintings, I’ve been really aware of what goes on for me while I paint. It’s quite amazing what a little pattern I have got going on.

First of all, I’m always convinced that I don’t have the ability/technical know-how, talent or whatever else, to actually put on paper what’s in my head. That’s before I’ve even started anything!
And I am usually “right” in that, however, I have found that even though it never ends up exactly like what I see in my head in terms of a picture, it DOES always seem to carry that energy and evoke the emotion I wanted to portray in the end. So, I push through.

 

Next, I am usually going along just fine for a bit and then this ONE (first of many)  thing will happen that has me convinced that I have now “ruined” the whole painting and I might as well just ditch it.

I wonder if you can tell what that might have been in this painting? Yep, that rather large, pink splatter streak! Yes, even in uncontrolled splatter world there’s apparently an inner critic that has “splatter standards!”

I was sure it would really not work anymore now and since I had only just put down my basic splatters, it would have been easy to just start over.

But no, these days I roll with it. I go with it, I carry on, I ignore the inner critic that keeps on telling me that I will regret not starting over, etc. But this is how I practice courage these days - I carry on anyway!

Just like I carry on the other 5-15 times during any given painting, where I am “sure” that this is just not going to work out.

Why do I willfully go and ignore my intuition? Why do I put myself through that and isn’t this just a lot like obstinacy, rather than courage?

I do it, because I have learnt that it is not my intuition. It’s also not obstinacy. It’s my resistance!

My attempt to control what it becomes, my attempt to create something I have already determined in my mind. That’s the playing-it-safe me. That’s the not-being-myself me!  And that’s also the judgmental me!

Who says this painting doesn’t need a completely disproportionate pink streak going in the other direction from all the others?

 

So, when I push through, when I ignore “the voices,” I let go of resistance and  enter into allowing.

Allowing myself to create what it is I need to express, allowing the painting to become what it needs to be. So it can evoke/transmit what it needs to evoke, in myself and others. And that really never has anything much to do with the mind anyway and that is where the inner critics and the resistance junkies reside a lot of the time!

This being courageous and allowing thing - it’s a daily process! Not always an easy one.  But it is becoming a gloriously freeing one!

Do I always succeed? No.

Some paintings really don’t turn out that great - in my opinion. But, I am happy to say, fewer and fewer! Maybe because there is no such thing as “making the cut”  anymore. They all are what they are! And I am so grateful for them and what each and every one has taught me and continues to teach me!

 

And as all this plays out in my art, I find it plays out in my life:

The practicing of courage - every day!

The letting go of judgments and preconceived notions - every day!

The allowing. The creating. The freer expression. The colors. The just BEing. The gratitude.

Every day!

 

 

YES! YES! YES!

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Happening around here lately

1. Practicing Gratitude.

I’ve never much liked the expression “an attitude of gratitude.” It doesn’t resonate with me. To me attitude is something you “put on”, like an external thing you adopt. The saying even goes “adopting an attitude of ...” Again, its’ like something that is not from you or in you -  and you’re just trying it on for a while. And an attitude doesn’t necessarily denote an action to me - it’s more of a concept.   “Practicing gratitude” suits me better. Because to me it is a practice - you actually DO it over and over until it becomes you and you become it! By practicing every single day, you become a grateful person - a grateful person that practices gratitude every single day! The “goal” and the journey are the same here! From very early on, I have had the practice with my children, to snuggle up before bed, look back on the day, remember or list what happened, what we liked, what we didn’t like so much, what we are grateful for, etc. As they are older now, we have really started to focus a little bit more on the actual practice of gratitude. Not only the forming of a

mindset, but hopefully the habit of a life time. I have a gratitude journal in my bedside table, and I write in it as often as I can. My kids have little gratitude journals too.  They write in them if and when they remember to.

I also used to have a list on the fridge. A few month ago, I went big however, covered the refrigerator in some chalk board vinyl and invited the kids to participate in writing their gratitude on the gratitude chalk board too.

It has been such fun!

And yes, occasionally we swipe against it and end up wearing our chalky gratitude, but it’s all good!

I LOVE reading the things the kids come up with! The board alone is an awesome read, but their little journals are great in themselves. Max is short and sweet, often with just daily one word entries, of whatever he felt grateful for that day. Quite often it can be a thing or something practical.

Anna tends to be a little more elaborate. She has longer entries and mostly they are about people or experiences related to people!

I also often find my kids standing in front of the board and reading out all the things we have written down over time, which just makes us feel the gratitude all over again as they do it!

And when the board gets all filled up, we wipe it and start all over. Not before I take a few pictures though!

 

2. Blissful aroma.

As I type, the house is filled with the blissful aroma of apple butter bubbling away in my crockpot. We’ve had some amazing organic apples from Azure this year, for around 50 cents per pound (and there were many many pounds!)  and I have been canning our year’s supply of ever so yummy homemade, unsweetened applesauce (and some apple jelly) over the last few weeks and now I’m using the last of the apples to make a few batches of apple butter. It’s such an easy thing to do in the crockpot and it makes your house smell oh so good!

 

3. Spreading Joy.

I always like to make it a point to do some random acts of kindness. Sometimes they are slightly more planned, sometimes they are very random and spontaneous. This weekend they were a bit of both!

Some of my fellow “flyers” were inspired by Kelly Rae Robert’s kindness mission and got together to love-bomb the world! I was only too happy to join in! You can read more about it here. So today, I left a few of those lovely little print out’s around my neighborhood. Our community mail boxes looked like they need some art loving, as did a couple of park benches and some lamp posts!

 

 

I also love the practice of love/kindness pebbles, which I left the last of today as I went about my business.

Those are little pebbles with words of love, appreciation or inspiration on them. Like "you are loved”, or “I love you”, or “smile!”, “Ease. Joy. Glory”, etc. You drop these pebbles wherever and whenever you feel inspired to. In people’s pockets, on their desk, in their bag, at the checkout stand, wherever somebody will find it later. The idea is that it will bring a smile on their face and a little wondering as to who it might be from!

I’ll be decorating another batch of pebbles soon!

 

4. Little pleasures

 

Reading and re-reading this at the moment!

Hello, yummy veggie rainbow juice, fresh from the garden!

 

This makes me happy:

 

These make me happy too:

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