My Big Dream Catcher

Back in the beginning of February, I wrote a post about the large dream catcher I was planning to make. You may have wondered, if I forgot to post the end result or just abandoned the project all together, as I never spoke of it again.

Well, neither, really. I did go ahead and make it .... and make it .... and make it!

It appears to be one of those things that took on a life of it’s own and kept on growing and evolving. And even now, it’s by no means finished. I know that I still want to weave in a few more strands of relevant gem stones, take it up the sides a little more, etc.

Yes,  it still doesn’t feel done! However, I has been hanging above my bed for quite some time now as it’s evolving, so regard this post as a “progress update”, rather than a “I’m showing you my finished work” kind of post. Another one of those “work in progress” projects I mentioned in my last post.

But this one really lends itself to that status. As I add things that are precious to me, little knick-knacks and reminders of people and places, it grows and evolves and maybe it will never be entirely finished!

 

 

The interesting thing is also, that as I got started with the dream catcher, I had a completely different room. The long overdue and long wished-for re-design/reshuffle of my bedroom happened just in the last 2 weeks or so, too. Nothing fancy! Nothing expensive either - but oh so much more ME right now!

The room was in quite neutral greens and browns ever since we moved in, but I had such a desire to make it look and feel brighter, lighter with punches of color, especially lately! And some of my art work! And a little sacred corner!

So, I ended up with white, natural (light) wood tones and pops of orange and teal! Rather daring for me, I must say! But I love it!

This also started showing up in my otherwise quite neutral dream catcher!

See the Courage feather in there? I love that it ended up being the longest point of the dream catcher and with that, the closest in proximity to me! I think it is fitting!

So, what exactly do I have in this cream catcher?

 

 

Well, first of all, rather than weaving the inner part of the dream catcher, I strung a crochet lace doily to the metal loop, which I had left-over from my pantry project (I used the rings on the lazy Suzan's to stop the cans from sliding off.)

And then I have such an array of things. Feathers, obviously, lots of feathers. Some I found, some I bought, some were given to me!

 

 

Gems, pearls, beads, rocks, a piece of wood gathered by a friend for me on a walk, a copper triskelion I made for another project, a little earthen goddess I inherited from my mother, rose glass beads strung on lace, a heart shaped gemstone, a carved Buddha bead, silver wire pieces, lamp work pieces...  The list just goes on and on! Each piece, large or small, is there for a reason. And for a reason that is important and meaningful to me - nobody else. It’s a very personal piece and I love that about it!

 

And honestly, collecting significant pieces together for this project has been just as much fun and meaningful as the whole dream catcher itself! I also love that a lot of my little treasures now have a home, other than in a box or drawer!

My 8-year-old daughter has started to make her own dream catcher for her room, since mine has been up on the wall. She hasn’t asked for any help in making it and she is just using things that she finds in her room, making it out of bits of plastic, paper feathers and tiny little treasures she has collected over time!

How awesome is that!!

 

Here is a lovely story I found at Dream Catchers.org:

History of Dream Catchers:

Long ago when the word was sound, an old Lakota spiritual leader was on a high mountain and had a vision. In his vision, Iktomi, the great trickster and searcher of wisdom, appeared in the form of a spider. Iktomi spoke to him in a sacred language. As he spoke, Iktomi the spider picked up the elder’s willow hoop which had feathers, horsehair, beads and offerings on it, and began to spin a web. He spoke to the elder about the cycles of life, how we begin our lives as infants, move on through childhood and on to adulthood. Finally we go to old age where we must be taken care of as infants, completing the cycle.

But, Iktomi said as he continued to spin his web, in each time of life there are many forces, some good and some bad. If you listen to the good forces, they will steer you in the right direction.  But, if you listen to the bad forces, they’ll steer you in the wrong direction and may hurt you. So these forces can help, or can interfere with the harmony of Nature. While the spider spoke, he continued to weave his web.

When Iktomi finished speaking, he gave the elder the web and said, ”The web is a perfect circle with a hole in the center. Use the web to help your people reach their goals, making good use of their  ideas, dreams and visions. If you believe in the great spirit, the web will filter your good ideas and the bad ones will be trapped and will not pass.” (Source: www.dream-catchers.org).

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Work In Progress

That seems to be the theme for me the last couple of weeks. Work.In.Progress.

I don’t have much finished, most of my art is currently in the “work in progress” stage.

We’ve had a lot of visitors lately and there is more to come!

So, normal life has been not at all “normal” and has sort of been happening between bouts of visiting and other distractions.

As a result, I haven’t really been able to do all that much art and the little I do get done, seems to just add to the work-in-progress pile.

 

This is not an easy state for me to be in - the perpetual WIP, without something finished and filed away - is not something I revel in!

However, these days, when I find an area where I am supremely uncomfortable, instead of “making it go away”, fighting against it, resisting it or pulling some superhuman efforts out of my hat, usually at a great price to myself, or, decide not to do something just so I don’t add to the pile -  I try and lean into it and embrace the discomfort.

I say “try” because some days I’m more successful than others with this!

 

But, I am learning so much about myself! So much to clear, so much to let go and so much to open up to!

Having a perpetual work-in-progress pile in my art, is just one of those discomforts in my life right now. There are many more. How did I get so lucky?

 

But, I am learning to really appreciate the discomfort! It’s that message that tells me something is up!

• It tells me that there is an opportunity to let go of an outdated way of thinking/feeling/acting.
• It tells me, that I am learning to recognize and leaning into my vulnerabilities, something I would have avoided at all cost not too long ago!
• It tells me that in this moment, on this day, in this situation, however minute, I am practicing courage and I am opening myself up to not only vulnerability, but also change!
• It tells me I am one step closer to being authentically me, and one step further away from needing to be “perfect.”
• It tells me, that at the other end of it, there is so much more opportunity for ease, joy, gratitude and expansion!
• It tells me, that I am  also a constant work in progress and that that is a good thing! Sometimes it’s also a difficult thing, but it’s never not a good thing!

 

And with that, I will show you one of those work-in-progress pieces from my pile.

 

I decided to go big on a face, to really practice features. But not only that, I also learned a new (to me) method of painting with gesso, watercolor crayons and black ink  while I was at it! It’s nowhere near finished, but it is starting to take shape!

 

 

 

 

 

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
― Brené Brown

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Transition

The other day, I sat down to do one of the Lifebook 2014 lessons and within the first few minutes of laying down my colors, it went a completely different way!

Now, in days gone by, I would have made myself got back to the lesson and do it “properly,” but these days I go with the flow much more. I do follow the whispers a whole lot more!

So, I also did this time.

And this is what emerged!

 

{Transition}

Art Print available in my Etsy Store.

 

I am starting to LOVE going with the flow in my art! Somehow it always just depicts where I’m at, even when I wouldn’t be able to express it in any other way!

The piece above is done with acrylic ink and colored graphite pencils.

 

I feel like a lot is transitioning for me right now in all levels of my life. Nothing major really to the outside world, I’m sure. More quiet little changes, large and small shifts within, letting go,  transitioning into new ways of thinking, feeling, doing and perceiving.

 

YES!

 

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

Richard Bach

And YES to butterflies!

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Of Splatters, Colors and the Process of Allowing!

And my inky drip/splatter obsession continues! So much fun!!

 

 

It has been amazing for me to embrace all this color and lack of control. As somebody who is usually more on the muted and controlled side in her expression of creativity, these bursts of color and mess of splatters and drips are quite freeing!

With the last several paintings, I’ve been really aware of what goes on for me while I paint. It’s quite amazing what a little pattern I have got going on.

First of all, I’m always convinced that I don’t have the ability/technical know-how, talent or whatever else, to actually put on paper what’s in my head. That’s before I’ve even started anything!
And I am usually “right” in that, however, I have found that even though it never ends up exactly like what I see in my head in terms of a picture, it DOES always seem to carry that energy and evoke the emotion I wanted to portray in the end. So, I push through.

 

Next, I am usually going along just fine for a bit and then this ONE (first of many)  thing will happen that has me convinced that I have now “ruined” the whole painting and I might as well just ditch it.

I wonder if you can tell what that might have been in this painting? Yep, that rather large, pink splatter streak! Yes, even in uncontrolled splatter world there’s apparently an inner critic that has “splatter standards!”

I was sure it would really not work anymore now and since I had only just put down my basic splatters, it would have been easy to just start over.

But no, these days I roll with it. I go with it, I carry on, I ignore the inner critic that keeps on telling me that I will regret not starting over, etc. But this is how I practice courage these days - I carry on anyway!

Just like I carry on the other 5-15 times during any given painting, where I am “sure” that this is just not going to work out.

Why do I willfully go and ignore my intuition? Why do I put myself through that and isn’t this just a lot like obstinacy, rather than courage?

I do it, because I have learnt that it is not my intuition. It’s also not obstinacy. It’s my resistance!

My attempt to control what it becomes, my attempt to create something I have already determined in my mind. That’s the playing-it-safe me. That’s the not-being-myself me!  And that’s also the judgmental me!

Who says this painting doesn’t need a completely disproportionate pink streak going in the other direction from all the others?

 

So, when I push through, when I ignore “the voices,” I let go of resistance and  enter into allowing.

Allowing myself to create what it is I need to express, allowing the painting to become what it needs to be. So it can evoke/transmit what it needs to evoke, in myself and others. And that really never has anything much to do with the mind anyway and that is where the inner critics and the resistance junkies reside a lot of the time!

This being courageous and allowing thing - it’s a daily process! Not always an easy one.  But it is becoming a gloriously freeing one!

Do I always succeed? No.

Some paintings really don’t turn out that great - in my opinion. But, I am happy to say, fewer and fewer! Maybe because there is no such thing as “making the cut”  anymore. They all are what they are! And I am so grateful for them and what each and every one has taught me and continues to teach me!

 

And as all this plays out in my art, I find it plays out in my life:

The practicing of courage - every day!

The letting go of judgments and preconceived notions - every day!

The allowing. The creating. The freer expression. The colors. The just BEing. The gratitude.

Every day!

 

 

YES! YES! YES!

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Happening around here lately

1. Practicing Gratitude.

I’ve never much liked the expression “an attitude of gratitude.” It doesn’t resonate with me. To me attitude is something you “put on”, like an external thing you adopt. The saying even goes “adopting an attitude of ...” Again, its’ like something that is not from you or in you -  and you’re just trying it on for a while. And an attitude doesn’t necessarily denote an action to me - it’s more of a concept.   “Practicing gratitude” suits me better. Because to me it is a practice - you actually DO it over and over until it becomes you and you become it! By practicing every single day, you become a grateful person - a grateful person that practices gratitude every single day! The “goal” and the journey are the same here! From very early on, I have had the practice with my children, to snuggle up before bed, look back on the day, remember or list what happened, what we liked, what we didn’t like so much, what we are grateful for, etc. As they are older now, we have really started to focus a little bit more on the actual practice of gratitude. Not only the forming of a

mindset, but hopefully the habit of a life time. I have a gratitude journal in my bedside table, and I write in it as often as I can. My kids have little gratitude journals too.  They write in them if and when they remember to.

I also used to have a list on the fridge. A few month ago, I went big however, covered the refrigerator in some chalk board vinyl and invited the kids to participate in writing their gratitude on the gratitude chalk board too.

It has been such fun!

And yes, occasionally we swipe against it and end up wearing our chalky gratitude, but it’s all good!

I LOVE reading the things the kids come up with! The board alone is an awesome read, but their little journals are great in themselves. Max is short and sweet, often with just daily one word entries, of whatever he felt grateful for that day. Quite often it can be a thing or something practical.

Anna tends to be a little more elaborate. She has longer entries and mostly they are about people or experiences related to people!

I also often find my kids standing in front of the board and reading out all the things we have written down over time, which just makes us feel the gratitude all over again as they do it!

And when the board gets all filled up, we wipe it and start all over. Not before I take a few pictures though!

 

2. Blissful aroma.

As I type, the house is filled with the blissful aroma of apple butter bubbling away in my crockpot. We’ve had some amazing organic apples from Azure this year, for around 50 cents per pound (and there were many many pounds!)  and I have been canning our year’s supply of ever so yummy homemade, unsweetened applesauce (and some apple jelly) over the last few weeks and now I’m using the last of the apples to make a few batches of apple butter. It’s such an easy thing to do in the crockpot and it makes your house smell oh so good!

 

3. Spreading Joy.

I always like to make it a point to do some random acts of kindness. Sometimes they are slightly more planned, sometimes they are very random and spontaneous. This weekend they were a bit of both!

Some of my fellow “flyers” were inspired by Kelly Rae Robert’s kindness mission and got together to love-bomb the world! I was only too happy to join in! You can read more about it here. So today, I left a few of those lovely little print out’s around my neighborhood. Our community mail boxes looked like they need some art loving, as did a couple of park benches and some lamp posts!

 

 

I also love the practice of love/kindness pebbles, which I left the last of today as I went about my business.

Those are little pebbles with words of love, appreciation or inspiration on them. Like "you are loved”, or “I love you”, or “smile!”, “Ease. Joy. Glory”, etc. You drop these pebbles wherever and whenever you feel inspired to. In people’s pockets, on their desk, in their bag, at the checkout stand, wherever somebody will find it later. The idea is that it will bring a smile on their face and a little wondering as to who it might be from!

I’ll be decorating another batch of pebbles soon!

 

4. Little pleasures

 

Reading and re-reading this at the moment!

Hello, yummy veggie rainbow juice, fresh from the garden!

 

This makes me happy:

 

These make me happy too:

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Current Project Life - February 2013

Since I now have my Project Life friendly, organized space, I am much more able to do a little bit every other day or so, which keeps me pretty current with my Project Life album! Yay! It’s a brand new feeling and I like it!

Since I have things also more accessible and out in the open, I find myself using a lot more of my embellishments and many an PL insert ended up as a simple mini layout! I like that too!

I’ve been having a lot of fun with it this month and want to share! There will be a lot of photos, so bear with me!

 

As you will see, I also used lots of different sized inserts again this month! To make it easier to see which is which, I took the album pages apart this time!

We start out with this 4x6 one. I love those!

First the month title card, which I always make, even though I also have monthly dividers in my album. It just gets me into the mood of the month a bit! You may also notice that I’ve gone a lot more “flowery” this month. It was initially meant to be a Valentine thing, but now I’m really starting to like it, so I think I might weave in more flowery papers here and there as I go!

 

 

In the middle card I have the journaling behind the photo. I secured the photo with some washi tape and then some machine stitching. When you flip the photo open, the journaling is revealed underneath.

 

 

 

Moving on to the back of that first plastic insert. I have a photo of the family watching the super bowl. I put the embellishments straight on the photo as there was a) room, and b) most of the superbowl journaling was already on the previous insert.

I also did a layout on our usual bedtime routine at the moment. I really love writing a little about our daily routines and how they change through the years as the kids grow!

Lastly, there is a layout about the first signs of life in our garden!

 

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Next I have a larger card insert, just to keep things interesting!

 

 

The back is pretty much all dedicated to Valentine’s day and it even spilled over into the next page a little. I also have an big envelope in the back of the folder where I collect drawings, cards and such I get from the kids for special occasions, so they don’t all need to be in the slots here.

 

 

 

Here’s another smaller insert again. I really liked those this month! I don’t really tend to plan out my layouts in advance, I go with what I need to write about and make it fit somehow!

 

 

Love those little month/date pockets for stashing various things. This month I put the February Lottery ticket and some other little misc. bits and pieces in there!

 

 

Moving on to the next insert now, with more “hidden” journaling.  Incidently, this is definitely my most used and favorite Pocket Pages (Design G) !

 

 

The card with the “this” arrow actually flips open to reveal a vellum pocket I sewed onto the card underneath. In it I have accordion folded a little printout of my blog post, describing my Project Life organization around the office!

 

 

I might still want to add a few notes or embellishments to that empty space under that flip card. Looks a little bare now that I took a picture of it!

 

 

It might look quite work intensive, but really it isn’t. For example, with this blog post, I went and saved the blog entry as a pdf, which I then opened in Photoshop. With the “print” feature I have on my blog, you can even specify which pictures you want included and which you don’t. So once saved, I right click the PDF file and choose “open with Photoshop”. Before it opens in Photoshop, I can then specify what size I would like the  finished documents to open as. I had measured my vellum pocket and determined that 2.5 inches in width would do it.  After they all opened in Photoshop, I just stuck them together and printed it out on regular printing paper. In this case the post was longer than a regular sheet of printing paper, so I had to stick a few together to make a continuous sheet, but that is optional. You could also just add the pages loosely or stapled together.

 

I love doing this kind of thing for long journaling or for incorporating some of my blog posts!

 

And then we move on to the next page! Somehow I ended up doing a lot of journaling this month. I don’t always have the time to do it, but I do enjoy it when it does happen as it’s so nice to look back on the stories and descriptions later on!

 

 

 

Which brings me to another journaling insert. I did it much the same way as the blog post insert, only this one isn’t so long. Since the journaling is a bit more of a personal nature, I didn’t want it to show straight away, so I folded this one the other way around, with one of Ali Edwards words I cut in the Silhouette stuck on the front. All of it pulls out from the sewn vellum pocket and slides back in.

 

 

 

This brings us to the last insert for this month. These are new inserts for me at a new size and I’m really enjoying doing some 4x4 cards! Just for a change! These are Photo Pocket Pages - Design I.

 

 

And the last page of inserts before March starts!

 

 

And that is February! I have to admit, I spent a lot more effort on the individual cards and layouts this month, but I really enjoyed it. And going by the increase in embellishments, having things organized, easily accessible and the small stuff out in the open is really benefiting my Project Life work flow! Yay!

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Birthdays, Cakes, Wedding Memories And Other Madnesses!

So, it is October!

Around here that usually means lots of birthdays, lots of parties, lots of prepping - generally too much to do and not enough time! I don’t think we have a single weekend between now and the second week of November when we don’t have at least one birthday party to attend - some weekends we have two!

October is usually started by my birthday on the 3rd, which to my children signals that their birthday is only 17 days away! So the birthday fever goes up a whole notch or three!

 

This year has been interesting in terms of the twin’s birthday preparations! While in previous years, I was able to somehow combine their birthday party wishes in one “theme”, this year that was just not going to happen anymore!

Last year we were already nearing that stage, but I dodged that one by having their birthday party on the Halloween weekend and therefore having a Halloween party theme for their birthday! That enabled us to combine Princesses with Dinosaurs without too much problems!

 

This year however, their birthday falls on a Saturday, which means we can actually have a birthday party on the day of their birthday! How exciting is that?!

 

This year they are very clear about their theme wishes though. “My little Pony” and “Angry Birds”. Yep, such a natural combination, don’t you think?

The kids are also in different classes this year, so their circle of friends is starting to be different!

For their birthday cakes, Anna wants a “My little Pony” castle cake and Max of course wants an “Angry Birds” cake!

 

Yesterday I realized that my run-of-the-mill cake decorating stuff isn’t going to cut it on this one, so I had to go and unearth my slightly more I-really-mean-it cake decorator tools.

 

 

It was interesting to see them out! It had been a long time - in fact I think the last time I had them out was for our wedding cake.

I still found 2 of the white flowers that adorned the wedding cake almost undamaged in there too! Not bad for 8 years and 2 moves!

 

 

Yes,  I made my own wedding cake and yes, I was crazy!

In an effort to save money, I thought I would do pretty much the entire wedding myself - including catering, wedding cake and decorating. It was a small wedding mind you and somewhat bare bones, but there was still crazy much to do!

I stopped short of sewing my own wedding dress and doing my own hair for the day, which is just as well because things turned a tad more crazy when we found out that I was expecting twins only a couple of weeks before our church wedding (we celebrated our wedding twice by getting married legally and then celebrating out church wedding several months later in an effort to accommodate family and friends!)

 

So, by the time we got close to the wedding, I was seriously plagued with pretty much 24/7 twin morning sickness! While catering my own wedding and making my own wedding cake. Yes, I am surprised too I got anything resembling food or a cake done for that day too!

 

 

In fact, my biggest worry on the day was that I would lose any and all bridal decorum by unceremoniously puking at an inappropriate moment during the wedding ceremony or during the reception! Not that there ever is an appropriate moment for that in the proceedings, I’m sure!

However,  I did make it through without incident! And we had a beautiful wedding day!

But I totally digress!

 

Back to the kid’s cakes!

Last night I started. Since both cakes require a lot of fondant modeling, I have to start early, so there is a chance for it all to dry!

So, I thought I will periodically update you with my cake decorating progress as it happens.

Here is what I started last night!

 

 

 

 

Both my children decided that they wanted to be able to keep the figures that will be on the cake, which suited me just fine, because that saves me from the rather more difficult task of modeling  authentic Princess Cadence and Shining Armor which may be a little above my abilities and Anna is very detail oriented!

For Max’s cake I will have a few plastic angry birds on his cake for him to keep and some fondant modeled ones, since he will need to have quite a few pigs and birds on there!

 

So, for the turrets, here is what I did.

I covered the inside of a wrapping paper tube with baking parchment, then rolled out a piece of fondant in a rectangle and smoothed it over the covered roll. Once I closed the seems, I ran my knife across the top and bottom to even it out. Hopefully that will insure the turrets sitting straight on the cake/board when it comes to assembly.

Then I cut out a little window and decorated it with little flowers and a rope of sugar paste. Everything is stuck down with just a little water on a brush.

This now needs to dry until it is totally hard, so it can stand being pushed into a cake. I have several more of these to make and soon, so there is enough time to dry!

 

 

For the pointy roof , I covered an ice cream cone in fondant and tucked the excess under. Then smoothed it out until it’s all nice and even.

 

 

 

 

For two of them so far, I rolled some fondant into a rope and twirled it around the roof, again sticking it down with some water. Then I finished the bottom with some sugar pearls and the top with a couple of fondant balls in coordinating colors.

I may do that with the others too, or I may actually do something different for those turrets. I haven’t decided yet!

Once dried and assembled, they will look something like this:

 

 

So, that’s how far I am for the moment! I will keep you updated as I go!

 

Have any of you ever made a castle or an angry bird cake? Any pointers, tips and tricks you can offer?

 

Have a fabulous day!

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Transforming heavy into light

So, I haven’t posted any art journaling pages in a while.

That’s partly because of summer and two energetic kiddos that need a lot of entertaining, but also because Project Life somewhat took over my “spare” time.

I am however doing art journaling pages, but at a MUCH slower pace. I find I come and go in phases when it comes to arts and crafts anyway though. So, I am generally not too concerned when things slow down a bit, as I know they will pick up again.

One thing that has also “slowed” me down a little, is leaving my more familiar style, materials and “way of doing” art journaling behind for this painting. At 9x12 it is also much larger than I am used to!

First of all, let me show you what I am working on and then I’ll fill you in on the process.

See what I mean?

Certainly not my “usual”. Definitely not my go-to colors, and the subject matter - totally not me. Or is it?  I love the colors and I wear them often, even if I don’t use them in my art as much. Hmmm, I wonder why? I got really inspired after watching a youtube tutorial on creating this type of background and subject matter!

Apparently it was time to channel my inner Goth, and ... Dr. Seuss? Who knows!?

All I know is that I’m having such fun with this!

But let me start at the beginning.

As some of you know, I have been digging deep this last year and a half. I’ve really been tackling my past, mostly my childhood, and all the nasty hidden things that have been lurking there for so many years. Unfortunately there is a lot there and much to dig through.

With the help of Energy Psychology modalities such as EFT, Matrix Reimprinting, etc. and a variety of Energy Medicine Modalities, this process has been made a lot faster, a lot easier (even though I would not call it easy by any means) and probably in many ways a lot more meaningful.

I can see myself coming out at the other end now more and more, which is amazing and I am so grateful!

Art Journaling has also helped a lot in the process, even though I am not nearly as free as I would like to be there just yet. It is a process in itself.

One of the things that has been an issue for me, however, is that I don’t really want to have a “heavy” Art Journal!

Do you know what I mean when I say that?

As much as I appreciate the therapeutic value of Art Journaling, I don’t really want to open my journal in  a year’s time, or two or ten and be put right back into that place when I was working through X, Y and Z.

I want the transformative energy, maybe even some of the process, but I don’t want to be dragged back into that space by depressing pages!

But I don’t want to be all pink roses and butterfly in my journal  either though. That would be dishonest and a real disservice to myself! Now and in the future!

I want to be honest in my Art Journal, and most of all authentic! Yes,  I share some of my Art Journal pages with the wider public, but some will never see the light of day, because they were just done for me. I love that this means you can express whatever it is ... all of it, no limits, no etiquette, no pleasing anyone else .... just let it rip, get it out, be done with it, be brutally honest and totally politically incorrect - be me, in the moment! That is after all the purpose of a diary or a journal! Be it artistically expressed or not!

So, how do you combine those two goals?

Well, one way for me has been something like the painting above. You see before this mixed media painting started, I spill-wrote on the entire page. Oddly enough, I don’t even remember what it was all about. Once it was out it was done! I just know that I got a lot of stuff out of my system. Positive, negative, and everything in between!

And once I felt lighter, I started to paint, paste, scribble and stamp over it ... transform it into something completely new! It would have been ok if some of the writing was still visible through it, but that’s not how it ended up.

And all of a sudden the painting feels like what has been going on with me on the inside! It doesn’t feel “covered up”, it feels transformed! Bit by bit I can see how something new is sprouting, how the old broken down stuff isn’t horrible and scary any more, it is becoming the “compost”, as it where, for the new things that are growing.

To me it symbolizes that I am now able to embrace all of it.  When you learn to embrace the shadows, they lose their power! They just become part of the picture!!

Leaving the familiar behind can be a really good thing!

And I’ve been doing a little bit here and a little bit there and it’s still not finished. But right now I have reached another one of those pauses and that’s ok too. I will know when it’s time to pick it up again and do some more with it.

So, that’s some of what has been going on with me.

Have you tried something new lately? In what ways have you left the familiar behind recently?  How do you use your Art Journal as therapy?

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The Ability To Draw (or lack thereof) And An AJ Page

I think I’m on a roll with my Art Journaling pages! I have so many things that want to come out right now, so many ideas and quotes that want to be expressed!  So many drawings and “girls” working their way to the surface! And so little time!

But you know what’s the best of all for me - well other than having an awesome medium for expression and enjoying getting my hands covered in glue and paint?

I am finding that I can draw! ME!?

I have been convinced ALL my life that I can’t and there is plenty of evidence that I can’t draw to save my life. Seriously - I am not just saying that. I might be artistic and crafty, but really ... I can’t draw.

Or I couldn’t, up until recently. It was no accident that I became a DIGITAL scrapbook designer. I can create things on a computer that I never could on paper.

But like I said - until recently! And I’m finding that my biggest problem was that I thought that drawing was about being accurate and that it needed to look a certain way and that proportions just weren’t something you could go about willy-nilly making up.

And believe me nobody is more surprised than me to see myself actually drawing in my journal! And often I even like what I’m seeing! Imagine that!

What did you do, you ask? What is the big secret to the drawing challenged amongst us?

There isn’t one.        And yes,  if somebody had said that to me a while ago I would have snorted and thought that that is always what the people that CAN draw, say!

But really - it was simply about letting go. Or not so simply, since letting go is often the hardest thing to do!

And it still is about letting go now. It’s totally an ongoing process and often not an easy one.

It’s letting go of preconceived ideas of what it should look like - how somebody that CAN draw draws.

It’s letting go of comparison.

It’s also about letting go of the notion that I can not draw. That’s probably the biggest one for me. And one of those beliefs that I backslide on really easily. The ones we held the longest are often the hardest to let go of course! EFT can really help there, by the way! But really, If I continue to belief I can’t draw, I likely will never be able to. So going with the notion that I can’t draw like others, but that I can in my own way is a big one!

And then there is simply just letting go.

Letting the hand do what it does. Letting the body do what it does. The other day I took a canvas and a pencil, closed my eyes (yep) and just went for it. Doodled, wrote, drew - just kept on moving that pencil. Of course the result was nothing coherent, but that’s ok. I had no goal other than wanting the experience. No desired outcome, nothing to get wrong - just doing it! It seemed important to let go of everything, most of all of the idea of “failing” or not being “good enough” and to just ... well ... draw!

It was about getting into the rhythm, the flow, the letting the hand experience what it feels like to draw like you know what you’re doing - without the hesitation of people who believe they CAN’T draw! You drawing challenged people out there know what I’m talking about when I say hesitation, right?

So, it’s been a process, for sure. At times very much a “oh what’s the point” kind of process. But I’m starting to enjoy it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still not the kind of person who can sit down and knock out an amazing doodle on a napkin just like that.  Far from it. I’m still the master of stick figures on that front.

I still can’t just take a piece of paper, think for two seconds and then draw some amazing thing. I am (still?) not like that. I think practice has a lot to do with that too. And I’m working on getting a lot of that right now!

My approach still needs a little planning, lot’s of room for correction (pencils and erasers are great there) but I get there. And sometimes it feels a tad pathetic just how long it takes me to get to a oh so natural and haphazard looking swirl or hair, but hey, that’s how I roll right now!

And I’m getting a little more free with it too. Again, it might be the practice thing. Not just practice in drawing, but practice in letting go when drawing!

And then, when I have a basic outline and messed around with my proportions a little,  I go in with a micron pen for the outlines. Sometimes I even mess around on the computer first as I still feel more comfortable there with outlining an idea or a drawing. Then, once I have visualized it, it goes on paper!

So, I guess it’s true what they say, everyone CAN draw. It’s just a matter of  finding a way that works for you and gets you there! And wanting it badly enough to stick with it!

And to be honest, a lot of the time I still feel like I’m a bit of a fraud. Like I’m just pretending to draw or something, but I’m not the real deal. But you know what? I’ll get over it and in the mean time I’m enjoying my “fraudulent” drawings in my art journal!

Have you pushed your boundaries lately? Let go of some “I can’t” belief - even just a little, seemingly insignificant one?

Here’s my latest AJ Page: Be led by your dreams!

With this page, I followed pretty much the same technique as with the last one, only I got a little larger with my drawing. First I covered a book page with some white acrylic paint. Drew my basic girl outlines, covered here in masking fluid and went to town with some shimmer mists and spray inks.

Then I unmasked my girl and colored her with inks and watercolor pencils. The balloon was outlined on a piece of paper that I slightly aged separately before gluing it on the page. Then I took a dotted texture roller stamp and went over the whole lot with some Dazzle ink. That’s my favorite way of tying everything together on a page where subtle is the key!

Then I printed out the words, cut them and glued them to the page. And that is it!


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